I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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