Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
