Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
