You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
