We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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