I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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