I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
