The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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