So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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