Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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