I'm drive I can fine osifer
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
