I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
