Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
