Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Randomize
