you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
