Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So. Much. Porn.
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