I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize