Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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