So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
