U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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