Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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