ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
