Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
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Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
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in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.