Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.