Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
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Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.