it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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