You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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