yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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