Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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