Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
