I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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