Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
