i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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