Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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