Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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