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hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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