halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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