Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
