Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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