my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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