i just had sex bonerless
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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