I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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