weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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