Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
