Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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