She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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