I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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