She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
