he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
