dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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