i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
