i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize