Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
