I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
