And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
please don't ironically join a cult
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