I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?