whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.