I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
