PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
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Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.