So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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