Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
