biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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