Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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