so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
