Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
