"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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