Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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