I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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